An Unfinished Life
by Omydeadvoldemort
Summary: One-shot. Wendy sits in her old bedroom, hoping she will find happiness again. Rated M for a reason, suicidal thoughts and actions.


A/N: I have thought of a one-shot like this for months but I never found myself actually writing it. I finally finished it. While reading, here are some songs to listen to: 9 Crimes by Damien Rice, Riverside by Agnes Obel and Knocking on Heaven's Door by Antony & the Johnsons.

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The corners of her lips stood downwards, not plumbing slightly red as they used to do. The kiss in the right hand corner had disappeared, the hidden kiss was hidden again. She filled her lungs with air as she ran her fingers through her blonde, wavy hair. In the past six years not much of her features had changed. She looked more mature, older, but the innocence look in her blue eyes had never left her. Her hair had grown longer, though it held the same texture and colour.

As she grew older, her eyes had made place for more than just innocence. They were filled with sadness and emptiness almost all of the time. The brightness was gone, the lively look had disappeared. It was like she had lost the hope and that was the hard truth.

After Wendy had seen so many miracles of Neverland, after she had experienced such excitement and beauty she had thought she was now able to grow up, seeing she had already had the time of her life at that point. How she had been wrong. Growing up at such young age had been the biggest mistake she had ever made. Every child needs years when they can play carelessly, laugh worriedly and do things without getting laughed at by others. Wendy gave up two of these precious years.

She had hoped to see Peter again after the adventure in his world, but she hadn't. It felt strange and wrong to sleep in the other bedroom where she didn't have view on the familiar window. It felt terrible to know Peter wouldn't find her at their window again. The first half year she had told her brothers more stories and her stories got better and better the more fantasy she added. After all, nothing was strange to them anymore. Somewhere she knew that Peter wouldn't be listening to her stories anymore, like he had moved on just like she should've had.

She met people, an awful lot of people as she grew older, but no one was like _him_. No one was as special to her as Peter had been. They weren't as creative, fun and caring. They were harsh, plane and mostly mean. Gossiping filled her ears each time she would do something with her friends and that bothered her so much, it made her wonder or other people talked about her in this way.

The security of at least one person always being there for her was a luxury she never had and would never have either. Would life have been better if she and the boys had stayed in Neverland with Peter? Would life have mattered to her if she had lived her life in a different way? She didn't know. Life was and still is a game we're meant to lose. So why would she even try to win when she already knew she was going to lose? Why even bother being happy when the happiness is going to be taken from you anyway?

A shiver ran down her spine from the cold air in the room. The window was open, she always had it opened when nobody was around like tonight. Her parents were watching a new play together with Michael and John and Wendy was old enough to stay home alone. It had been a cold winter, colder than usual. Snowflakes were blown into the room together with a load of freezing air, making her lungs feel sour and cold.

Wendy played with her fingers in her lap and stood up from Michael's bed. He was 14, turning 15 soon, now. Still as clever as he was, he was the one to make the family proud. There was definitely a bright future in his life. He had taken over Wendy's job and now told John all kinds of different stories. Barely any of them included Peter, Hook or Tinkerbell since John had forgotten about most of it. He had been too young to understand and believe everything. To him everything had just been a sweet dream. John was the positive and brightest one of the family. He always seemed to be happy and excited, he was basically the sunshine that made her day just a little bit better.

The people at her school were persons she'd never understand, she'd never blend in with. She had struggles with blending in a lot, struggles with pretending to be someone completely different from herself. Her parents didn't seem to understand why she wanted to leave the school, why she wanted to move to the city where she wanted to write children's books. Her parents found her job was to marry and have children, raise them well and stay a housewife. That was not what she wanted, at least not with someone she barely knew.

It felt to her that she didn't have a place here. This wasn't her spot or her rightful location. This was not where she belonged and it was not hard to see that from anyone's point of view. The problem was that even though people saw it, they didn't want to accept the fact that she was unhappy. They wanted to live in the fantasy where their daughter, friend, sister was happy and where she was the beautiful person she used to be in her earlier years. They simply didn't want to know the problems she was struggling with.

This made her feel like nobody even cared about her. Her parents avoided her opinion, her dreams. Her brothers avoided the arguments between Wendy and her parents and never joined in to defend their sister. Her friends didn't want to listen to what they called her 'childish whining' and her teachers were to oblivious to see how she was treated in the hallways and during the class. Was she really that invisible to others?

Wendy took the acorn, which represented a kiss, Peter had given her all those years ago in this same room in her right hand and walked to the window. The cold wind made her white cheeks color red and was blowing her nightgown up against her thighs. She sat down on the couch before the window and tightened her fingers around the acorn. A sigh escaped her lips as she leaned her head against the wall. She could clearly see the bright star, but there was no sign of Peter whatsoever. Had he also forgotten about her?

Neverland. The place where she was accepted, the place where she wanted to be so badly. Was Neverland heaven? Was heaven Neverland? It was in her eyes.

"Peter," she whispered, a tear escaping the corner of her eye. "Where are you, Peter? I thought we'd stay friends no matter what. Where have you been?" She stared out of the window blankly, trying to hide her sadness that was making her tears spill.

As she thought she was alone, a boy was leaning against the outside wall close to the window Wendy was sitting in. You couldn't call him a boy anymore. To grow up, there are a few things needed. He hadn't had any of those things until he met Wendy and her brothers. He had witnessed love and he had felt it. This had changed so many things inside him. The boy had grown older. Peter was still Peter, but different. No matter what would happen, he could not show himself to Wendy. She was a lady and even though he looked older, he would still be the young boy from inside. He had Neverland to protect from evil, he had Tinkerbell and the lost boys to take care off. Wendy was a distraction. No, Wendy was not something negative. Wendy was a dream he would never have. He couldn't bring her to the second star on the right. That was a place for children, not for grownups. He could not let himself fall even more for her, he could not allow her back in his life.

"Peter, I am so sorry for everything. I am so sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I can't hold on to the memories, they don't calm me down anymore,'' Wendy spoke, her voice shivering slightly. Tears were leaving wet spots on her cheeks, glistering in the light of the moon and her stars. "I don't know where you are, I don't know or you're happy but I sure hope you are. I never changed, Peter, not really, not ever."

Wendy stood up on her feet and stepped onto the opening of the window. The view was beautiful from the place where she was standing. The star was shining so brightly tonight, it made her feel less stressed than usual. Even though Neverland was having her glorious years now, Peter was still worried every now and then. A tear ran down Peter's cheek as he listened to the soft voice of Wendy. He knew what she was going to do. He knew that he couldn't stop this from happening. Wherever she would end up, any place would be better than this. "Goodbye, Wendy," he said just above a whisper, not loud enough for Wendy to hear it.

"Goodbye, Peter," she said as she stared up at the star of Neverland. It was where she belonged. As she jumped, pretending to jump out of that window just like five years ago when she went up in the sky. Gravity got the best of her and dragged her down. Any place was better than here. And now she wandered around her own Neverland for an eternity, creating her own perfect world.


End file.
